"Me Three"

          I dialed the combination into my bedroom lock and clicked it open. It’s not that I didn’t trust my family, it’s that they were untrustworthy. Besides, at eighteen I deserved some privacy.

          Once inside my fortress, I stripped off my leather jacket and opened the walk-in closet door. Two women, one in her thirties and one seventies, jumped out! Thirties tackled me to the floor, pinned me down, and covered my mouth before I could scream. She wore a hideous grey jumpsuit that scratched my face. Seventies hung up my jacket.

          “What are you doing?” Thirties asked Seventies.

          “It’s our favourite,” Seventies said and pushed Thirties off me. “Don’t smother her, dumbass.”

          I sat up and took a quick breath, about to scream. Thirties jabbed her finger into my chest. “Don’t even think about it.” Her jumpsuit had a number on the breast pocket—an escaped criminal? I nodded, scared.

          “We’re not going to hurt you,” Seventies said. “We just want to chat.”

          Seventies offered me a strong hand up with a kind smile. As she moved, her coat shimmered. My fingers brushed the soft fabric as I let go of her hand. The colours shifted where I touched it. Ooh, I’d never seen that before. I wanted a coat like that.

          “It’s nice, right?” Seventies asked me.

          “Wait. How’d you get in here?” I asked.

          Thirties said, “Nope. Not answering that. But here’s a top tip. Change your lock combo. Mom guesses you use your birthday, and she’s going to come in and see stuff you don’t want her to see.”

          Seventies pointed a finger at Thirties. “Stop that right now!”

          Thirties kept going. “Jason’s New Year’s party gets raided. Flush the weed, don’t swallow it. Don’t bother applying to Harvard or Brown. And do not buy that Ford Taurus. Total lemon.”

          Seventies hauled off and punched Thirties right in the nose.

          “What the hell?!” Blood poured from Thirties’ nose. “You broke it!”

          “We agreed! Just that one thing. Don’t let Sasha drive tonight! That’s it! Idiot! No wonder you landed in jail.” Seventies turned to me. Her nose now had a kink in it. I was certain it wasn’t like that before.

          Thirties laughed and pointed at Seventies’ crooked nose. “Who’s the idiot?”

          “Who are you guys?!” I shouted.

          Seventies grinned. “Let’s face it, we never used our intellectual potential at any age.”

          “Not yet!” Thirties said and pulled Seventies towards the closet. “Time to go.”

          “Wait!” I said, “I want answers. Why are you leaving through the closet? How do you know Sasha? And where did you get that coat?”

          Seventies nudged Thirties. “We were damn cute though, weren’t we?” They backed into the closet and closed the door behind them.

          “Wait!” I ran to the closet and looked in. No women. Whoa. Okay.

          I called Sasha. “Hey, I’m driving tonight.”

          On the other end, Sasha said, “You don’t have a license.”

          “I got my permit,” I lied. “It’ll be great.” Problem solved. Hey, I’m no idiot.

 

 

-THE END-